We went to church today and before service the preschool class had a special craft day. Kim and I spent time with Gabriel making a “Jesus Hug Rug”. It’s a fun little project where kids have something to remind them that Jesus is always with them when they pray, a prayer mat of sorts. We painted his hands with fabric paint, pressed them down, wrote his name and the date. All of the other kids did the same and a few of us fathers were threatened painted hands and sly grins. 🙂 Before the craft we all prayed and the kids were asked what they wanted to pray for. Gabriel, ever so softly said, “Baby Alex cause she died.” It hit me hard. It took everything I had not to fall apart there. I worry about him, he thinks of her and brings her up often. It weights on him. I want him to be ok.
I bet he wants me to be ok.
I miss her, but I honor her by still trying to be a good father to her brothers. I have work yet to do. I spent yesterday at a church retreat where we discussed Deuteronomy 6:7, ministering to your children and helping them with their own faith. Today we worked in the yard as a family, on the new garden, on the landscaping… It was not the day I dreaded. Today was ok. One day at a time. She wouldn’t want her death to destroy me.
