Alexandria in her TuTu with Fairy Wand
Alexandria woke up around 8am fairly weak and very pale. She isn’t eating nearly as much as she used too, and when she does it tires her out considerably. Kimberly gave her a bath, and she perked up a bit, enough to put on the Tutu that she and Lindsey made her a few days ago. Kim even threw in the fairy wand Heather gave her for her one month birthday. 🙂 The picture to the left is one I took two days ago, when she was alert and feeling better.
Jessica (hospice nurse) called this morning and was in a car accident, but even so she still came by the house to see Alexandria. Jessica was away since last week, so we explained everything that has happened over the last few days. We talked about Dr. B coming last night, what he heard in her heart, and she checked her out as well. She could also hear the loud swooshing in her heart today. While she was here Alexandria was very pale, and clearly having the same circulatory issues she was yesterday. She is even more pale this evening. Jessica believes that we are now looking at days, not weeks… and I think she’s right. Alexandria is showing many of the same signs I saw in mom’s last days. Reality is beginning to set-in again.
Jessica checking Alexandria's heart
My foster father, Charlie, called tonight and we talked a bit about Alexandria and how Kim and I are holding out. In reading my posts he’s worried that I’m on the verge of panic. I don’t think I am, although my posts may be communicating that. I’m in pain, but I’d say I’m calm. I’ve been on this walk before… I know what to do… I know the kids, Gabriel especially, are going to need me to help them through this.
I talk to Alexandria, I let her know how much we love her… and pray that God is telling her what’s to come, keeping pain from her (on top of the Morphine we’re giving her), and holding her close. We have an incredible support network, so many friends, family, and church members that are holding us up. We are so very blessed by those that God has sent to help us.
Alexandria and Douglas
We are praying for the Lord to sustain you through this, as you hold, love, cherish and minister to precious Alexandria. Our Lord is the lord of comfort, and will sustain you through this. Remember, He said “When you walk thru the waters I will be with thee, and when you walk thru the flames you will not be burned.” Love, Uncle Bill and Aunt San
PS I fly to TLV tomorrow.
As I read your post, I thought of the wonderful Holy Family statue at Cross in The Woods in Indian River which shows Joseph sitting and cradling Mary and baby Jesus in his arms. Standing in front of the statue, I am always struck by the sense of protection and love which Joseph displays. That is how I envision God wrapping his loving and gentle arms around you and beautiful little Alexandria. We are with you in prayer.
I am touched by your daily postings rich in honesty of your struggles. Just as the Lord holds Alex in the palm of His hand, He also holds you, Kim and the boys in the palm of His hand. Alex was made perfect for the work God wanted her to do here. My prayers are with you as she moves closer to her transition.
We are so sorry about this news that Alex seems to be weakening. Our love and prayers go out to all of you.
Doug & Kim,
We have been praying diligently for healing but know that God has huge plans for this precious little angel. His plans may not be for this precious wee one to remain on earth but in His home in Heaven. We pray for God’s strength, courage, comfort to be wrapped around the both of you but also the entire family. Precious Alexandria is a God given little miracle. He breathed into her the gift of life and has given the family time to be with her and to know who she is – a child of God whom is so loved by her family but by so many others that you have allowed to walk with you (somewhat) on this journey. We may not know how long that may be only He knows but we pray for her to be gently called home to her Father in Heaven – that is, if it is His will. Meanwhile, just hold and love on that precious angel of yours. She is such a gift and a miracle – not to mention absolutely beautiful. Through all the updates that Mary has sent to us, your family has become part of our family and it does make our hearts ache for you but as Christians we know that Heaven is our ultimate destiny and rest assured that Jesus Christ will carry precious Alexandria home when it is her time and to to where there is no more illness but just pure peace.
Blessings,
The Phillips Family
Susie, Charlie and Emma Marie