Tonight we went to Wednesday night Advent service at church. I really didn’t want to go. While Gabe was in preschool for the afternoon I decided to go shopping for burial clothes. I was looking for a white, cotton, longsleeve dress. I found one in an online store that’s just what I want in size micropreemie and preemie. With the news at the last ultasound that Alex is 4lb 7oz, I’m afraid I’m going to need a newborn size dress. I looked at Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby but the Christening dresses are all taffeta, short sleeve, and the bottoms are all big, long and puffy. I’m just looking for simple. Coming home empty handed made me sad and feel like a failure, not to mention the lovely reminder that I wasn’t there to shop for a whole happy girlie wardrobe. It was a necessary evil. There won’t be time for shopping after her birth not to mention I’m sure I won’t want to be looking for a dress after she’s gone.
Doug suggested maybe we should stay home and spend time together as a family instead of packing everyone up in my state and heading to church. I told him I didn’t know why but church was where I felt we were supposed to be.
After the soup supper and church service as I was getting my coat on to leave, the bible study girls suddenly pulled me into a classroom. They prayed over me for us and Alexandria. The classroom was roasting hot. I was wearing my winter coat, very pregnant, and surrounded by a circle of women with their hands on me. I thought – oh no, I’m going to pass out. Oddly, as they were praying, instead of their hands feeling like weights on my body it felt as though they were holding me up. Some did not know much about our situation so I answered some questions and filled in some info about us. Then they gave me a surprise baby shower of sorts – a bunch of gifts of baby clothing, pizza gift cards, freezer meals, etc.
I was told later they were afraid they had overwhelmed me, I’d think they were being too intrusive and they had scared me off. Quite the opposite. We just started going to this church a couple months ago. We don’t really know anyone. To have so many people care about you so much, show so much love, pray for you even though you’re a stranger.. wow. Who wouldn’t want that?
